JMC Messages from Friends and Family
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DI: I was very sad to learn that Margaret’s died this morning. She was a wonderful aunt and I have many happy memories of her. Please accept my deepest condolences to you, Graham and Charlie, and to the rest of the family. I would be grateful if you would let me know about the funeral arrangements in due course.
DL: I was so sad to learn of Margaret’s passing this morning. How terribly sad. I have to say however, whilst she has passed, Margaret lives on in my memories of the wonderful times we spent together as a family; skiing, at the Island house and trips to Castle Roads. But more than anything I feel very keenly the passing of our parent’s generation. Please pass on my thoughts and condolences to the rest of your family. My heart and prayers are with you all.
BB:  I was so sorry to hear about your mum’s passing yesterday. She had a wonderful long life, and it sounds like she passed away on her terms in her beautiful house surrounded by all her boys.  It is always hard losing a parent however I know you and your brothers will have many fond memories of her life, family times, as well as all the various family trips. A life well lived. I do remember the last time I visited your mum with Valerie when we were in Bermuda for the Valerie’s 45th school reunion. We had a wonderful visit at Greenhill for afternoon tea and the dinner we shared with you and Judy at Mid Ocean. Lovely memories to cherish. I look forward to seeing you and the family later in August when we come down.
RI:  I just opened my email from the weekend and heard about your mom. I am very sorry for you and your families. Even from a great distance Margaret was an almost mythical figure to my brothers and I. I have a sense of how much she cared for you and your families. Always quick with a laugh and so warm and welcoming. One of my favorite stories is from when Margaret came to Edmonton to look after arrangements for her mother’s funeral. My mom and her were meeting with the funeral director who had some quirky speech patterns and phrases. It was all the two women could do not to crack each other up.  We will be thinking of you as you handle the inevitable tasks and navigate your grief.
CL:  Graham told me about Margaret’s passing over the weekend. I was glad to hear that her passing was peaceful. I am sure you are all thankful that she lived a long, and fulfilling life- but these things are never easy. Please pass on my condolences to your family.
LL:  I am so sorry to hear your news about Margaret. Philip and I are sending you and all the family in Bermuda our condolences at this very sad time.  Your mother was such a character and will be sorely missed. I was relieved to hear that she passed away peacefully at home and you and the family were able to be with her at the end. My sisters and I were also lucky to be with both our parents and for them to have peaceful deaths. As you say even though the news is not unexpected, when it happens it is still a shock.  I have been feeling nostalgic remembering all those happy times our families used to get together either in London or years ago in Meribel. Margaret used to call me when over in London and was always up for heading out to dinner or lunch. I will always remember her with a cigarette and glass of wine in her hand, full of family news and recounting her latest travel adventures with her deep husky voice. She certainly had a full life and must have had more stamps in her passport than most of he contemporaries!  We will be thinking of you all on 28th July and please send us a copy of the service.
CD:  I am so very sorry to hear the sad news of your mother's passing. Lindsay shared your email, John, with the rest of us. It must have been hard to see her decline in the last few weeks but I hope you are comforted by the fact that many of the family were with her and that it was a peaceful end. Your parents and our parents' lives were so intertwined: the two Ross cousins venturing away from South Africa, falling in love and settling abroad, your mother in Bermuda, ours in England, yet seeing each other so often over the years in Bermuda, England and Meribel and Courchevel for several raucous New Years Eves. I hold a particularly special place in my heart for your mother after our two year stint in Bermuda, when she (and you all) were so welcoming and generous to us. I remember many an occasion when Abbie and I would take a dip in her pool. I remember our trips out to the island, flying kites on Good Friday - with a lot of help in kite construction from Graham! I remember her so generously taking Paddy's parents out for dinner when they came to stay. She was always interested in people and I loved her quick wit and gravelly laugh. She must have been so proud of her boys and the rest of her family. And she was obviously a wonderful and well-loved mother/grandmother judging by how close a family you all are. I hope you can now start to find time to remember happier times with her. We will be thinking of you all on Sunday and are just sorry we can't be with you.
SH:  I am very sorry to hear of your mother's passing. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
PD:  Just a short note to say I’m thinking of you and your family on learning of your mom’s passing.  My sincere condolences to you all.
CB:  I hope this note finds you well, wherever you may be. I wanted to extend my deepest condolences to you and your family upon hearing the sad news of your mother's passing. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
JR:  We are sorry to hear about your Mom’s passing. We are thinking of you and your family.
WH:  I send you and your family my deepest condolences on the passing of John’s beloved Mother. May your family be comforted and supported by each other as you unite as a family during this difficult time.  Over the coming days, may your heaviness be replaced with fond memories.
JI:  On Sunday morning when I saw Graham's face on a Face Time screen I knew what he was going to tell me. On our weekly talk three weeks ago Margaret said that she had had enough but I hoped that it was a momentary dispiritedness but then on our last talk she did not really respond and her carer played intermediary. My heart has been so sore as it marked the end of the longest relationship of my life and one that was always loving and supportive. The only conflict I remember occurred when we were small children cooped up at home when our house was in quarantine because of an outbreak of some childhood disease. We were stir crazy, she was being big sister bossy and I stabbed her foot with a knitting needle in exasperation. But ever after until the present we were always on the same page in our reactions to people, events, books and ideas and in what amused us. It surprised me to say that we have lived so far apart for all of our adult lives because we had had many opportunities to be together through visits and travel and special occasions. I am told that condolences are best if they remember specific occasions but there were so many and took place all over the world - in South Africa we enjoyed family, safaris, and reacquainting ourselves with the people and places of our youth. We were often in London together and saw all of you. In Canada and Bermuda our kids got to know her and so many of our friends who have now written me lovely notes tell of the fun she was and how much they enjoyed her company. David and Janine invited her to join holidays in France and Italy and that widened the circle to include their daughter Claire. She visited them in Dubai as well and they loved her. So although we did not have day to day proximity we certainly have memories of how happily we were often together. And as I go on about my memories I know and hope that your memory of her will be alive and enjoyed whenever you think of her. She really had a good life and we are grateful that we were often a part of it. I know that there will be a funeral on Sunday and you can be sure that we will be thinking of all of you as you bid her goodbye.
WG:  I heard that your Mom passed and want to extend my condolences. I often don’t know what to say in the best of circumstances, and in these situations I am at a total loss. I am thinking of you and your family.
AM:  I wanted to extend my heartfelt sympathies on the passing of your mother.  Please know that I am thinking of you and hoping that you can find peace in your many memories of her.
AK:  I was saddened to hear about the passing of your mother.  My thoughts are with you and your family.  Please know I am thinking of you during this time and sending my warmest wishes.
DJ:  You have the sincere condolences [from all of us]. I hope you and your family are finding a way to celebrate your mum and all she meant to you during this difficult period.  Our prayers are with you.
GI:  This must be a very busy and sad time for you.  My family met the news of Margaret’s passing with sadness. Sadness was quickly replaced with us all sharing our many happy memories of her.  Margaret and your family were our only relatives who lived in the same hemisphere as us when I was growing up and I must say I never felt wanting for family because of her, Charles and all of your generosity of spirit.  Margaret had a lovely manner that even managed to put my anxious 12 and 16 year old self at ease when I visited Bermuda. Later in life she was always very kind and welcoming to my Family whenever we met and left my wife and daughter with lovely memories of her. She has always served as an example to us to be more welcoming and full of fun when approaching people and life.  Please accept our condolences.
JA:  We are deeply saddened to hear about the loss of your beloved mother.  Please accept our deepest condolences during this time of sorrow.  You and your family are in in our thoughts and prayers. Wishing you the comfort of cherished memories during this difficult time.
JC:  I was so sorry to hear the news of Margaret. As you said in your email to Lindsay nothing prepares you for the finality of it all even when you know it is imminent. How wonderful you were all there with her at the end. I'm sure she will have known you were with her and been able to hear your voices and I hope it brought and continues to bring you all comfort. It did for us when both our parents died. You all were very much part of our own family history and childhood; especially all those fun and raucous evenings we shared in Meribel in our teenage years. Margaret is the last of The Four to go and it feels like the end of an era; an end of an important chapter. My memory of her is her gravelly laugh, her standing with a glass of whisky in one hand and a cigarette in the other; her confidence and directness and her sense of fun. Not many people would opt for both knees to be replaced simultaneously. That takes courage, bloody-mindedness and application. I also loved the famous story of her flying to London and asking if her fellow passenger had ever been to Wimbledon...Edberg replied: "Yes. I vun it tvice!"  I send you all my love and condolences
AG:  I was very sorry to hear of your loss we will all miss Margaret and I am so glad I had some time with her last time I was in Bermuda May she RIP. I will be thinking of you all tomorrow take care
CFN:  I am so terribly sorry to learn about the death of your darling ma ... I was relieved to hear that your lovely mother died peacefully at home with you and other family members around her. We four girls were lucky enough to be with both Mummy and Daddy when they died and we are sure that they felt our love and heard our comforting words at the end, as I am sure your mother did with you all around her. Losing one’s second parent at whatever age you are is a real wrench. Your dear pa died far too young whereas it seems that your ma’s time had come . However I know that you will all be feeling a tremendous hole in your lives as you grieve and come to terms with her sad passing. I am sure too that you (and all the ... clan) will be giving and deriving great love, support and comfort to and from each other - you ... are such a wonderfully close family. Sharing happy, funny and even sad memories of your childhood and all the many years afterwards with your ma will be special and very bonding for you all. I don’t think I saw your mother since our wedding day - 30 years ago! When I think of her I have 2 images in my mind: one with her jet black beautifully coiffured hair and one with her later silver and equally beautifully coiffured hair, and in each case with her gleaming, sparkling eyes and her huge smile! I remember her distinctive low voice and laugh and I remember she and Mummy sharing many a funny story as they sat together on a sofa at Kingsclere or in Meribel nursing their glasses of whisky. Those Meribel Christmases with you were, as Daddy would have said, “absolutely marvellous“ or “a Guinea a minute”! Such, such fun. I remember skiing with your ma and Mummy. Your ma had such a gorgeous pale blue ski jacket and definitely out-styled Mummy in the looks department (she like Daddy of course had their James V1 wooden skis and leather boots in those days!) although I think that their skiing prowess was not dissimilar-they both preferred the après-ski at the end of the day…! My parents were so fond of your parents and the four of them shared so much over the years. The two first cousins were already incredibly close and then for Daddy and your pa to become such good friends and trusted business/legal colleagues added another dimension to the lifelong [family] connection. It was so good of John and Judy being able to come to Daddy’s memorial service and I am sorry that we ... girls are unable to pay our respects in person to Margaret.
PL: Your mum lived a very full life, and you have all been her gifts along with grandchildren and great grandchildren. Paul and I regret that we are not able to join Margaret’s family today, but we will be thinking about each of you. We hope Charles has met your mother.  With sympathy and affection along with lovely memories of times past.
GH: I met your mother in 1959 when I used to hitch a ride with your father to Boaz Island to play rugby. You were a babe in arms. Your mother was lovely. With Sympathy.
NH: We have fond memories of Margaret over the years.  Our sincere condolences to the whole family.